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Reader contribution: Reasons why having anxiety can be a blessing

A loyal Wallflower reader, Bethan Davies, expresses her positivity towards her severe social anxiety

Bethan wants to spread positivity and get rid of the stigma attached to having anxiety

Confession time: My name is Bethan, i’m 21 and I suffer with severe anxiety. It started at university and hit its peak when I couldn’t even leave the house. I had to take diazepam for presentations and I couldn’t sleep at night but was exhausted through the day. I commonly had panic attacks, I would pass out, I lost friends, I even lost a relationship and more importantly, I lost a lot of myself.

I read articles about anxiety and I began feeling excluded. I questioned, “Well, I don’t feel like that! Oh I feel like that, but not like that. Do I even suffer with anxiety then? What’s wrong with me if this isn’t anxiety?”

Anxiety is not general and it can’t be generalised. Every person reacts differently to an anxiety episode. So, I thought of some of the positives of anxiety. Here are a few:

Thought process

Our minds are constantly switched on and constantly overthinking. Every situation is extensively thought through. Decisions for example; we consider both the positive and the negative outcomes. There will be many different thoughts in between, but overthinking can lead to being more considerate.

Expectations

It can hurt us when we have high expectations of others and when we feel like they have let us down. It’s annoying that we know that we need to be cared for, but don’t know what care we actually want or need, yet we expect those close to us to know. But, having high expectations cause for more consideration in your own actions. We tend to care more and want those close to us to feel the love and care that we want and need.

You’re not alone

We’re a group and we’re together. So many people have anxiety and so many people write blogs and articles about their anxiety. If you need to talk or if you need to feel more understood, there are many people to turn to. You are not anxiety and you are not a bad person. You are you just with anxiety and many around the world feel the same. Anxiety isn’t all that bad, because I feel I’m a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter and a more considerate person because of it.

“Anxiety is not bad, it’s just inconvenient.”

Love

There is love, then there is loving like you want to be loved. You know what it’s like to need understanding, extra care and nurture. Loving how you wish to be loved is not bad. Yes, okay, not receiving that love sucks, but you are giving another being the love you want, that’s not all that bad now is it?

Strength

I don’t believe it is realised how strong people with anxiety actually are. People talk about their battles and having or needing medication… but what about realising you need medication? Realising you need help? Getting up every day like everyone else when you have tonnes of weight pulling you back down? People with anxiety have constant battles; which, my god, they suck! Yes, sometimes there are the bad days, but the good days aren’t highlighted enough. Everyone has bad days, but not everyone has anxiety and gets up to deal with it. That is strength.

Chin up, you’re doing great.

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