Here are a few of the cringeworthy realities of Tinder that are missed from the small print
Tinder has whipped our generation into a new and “efficient” way of dating. Which is great because we can decide our own fate without leaving the house.
Apparently, 1.4 billion swipes are made on Tinder daily (yay for more lazy daters)! However, some things get left out of the small print and are a complete nightmare for introverts like us, such as:
“Where do I recognise you from?”
You’re in a quiet pub. Hotstuff at the bar is looking awfully familiar. Then it clicks… he was the one who sent you an aubergine emoji on Tinder. You are minding your own business, actively avoiding eye contact, but then Hotstuff slides into your personal space and asks the awkward question:
“Where do I know you from?” (You know it’s Tinder. You know he’s aubergine guy. You know he knows!)
“I’m not sure.” (I’m really sure)
We are in nightmare scenario territory here, in which case make your excuses and dash to the loo to make an escape plan.
We all know what this means
“How did you two meet?”
If you’re successful on Tinder, you win the romantic story of how you met. Everybody loves hearing the story of how a couple first met. We’ve come a long way from our grandparent’s era where love blossomed at first sight. Today, it’s a swipe right. It still seems quite taboo to tell people that you met online. Let’s be honest, the story never receives an “Aww, cute.”
When asked, it’s much easier to just say “We met through a friend.”
Old school
You’re swiping through Tinder (normally left) and there he is. That guy you used to sit next to in GCSE chemistry (how ironic). After you get over the embarrassment of him knowing you’re on Tinder in the first place, be polite and swipe right – it’s a match! Then he starts flirting with you, so it’s decision time. Do you slap him back into the friend zone or is he worthy of a cheeky flirt? Either way, nobody told us we would be talking to our old school friends.
Girl code
Please, please, please ask your friends if they are talking to Dan (22) from Bristol before you reply to him. There’s nothing worse than chatting to a hot guy who has already been chatting up your mate(s). Find out first before you start with the small talk malarkey. It’s a small world, and Tinder makes it seem even smaller.
Mid-street collision
There’s nothing worse than unexpectedly bumping into somebody you have been speaking to on Tinder. Well, there’s one thing that is worse… and that’s bumping into them when you are at the till with a 9-pack of toilet roll and looking like Shrek. Awks.
The right to swipe
You’ve been on Tinder for an hour with no luck and you’re starting to lose the will to live. You decide to give people the ‘benefit of the doubt’. You go on a right swiping frenzy and rack up a whole lot of matches.
You go for a catnap and wake to find that you’re getting messages left, right and centre. Worst of all, there are so many awful chat up lines. Which leads us on to…
Cringe chat up lines
Chat up lines are never a good idea, are they? Here are some crackers we at Wallflower have been subjected to:
- Nice legs, what time do they open?
- I lost my phone number, can I have yours?
- If you were a bogey, I’d pick you first.
- Your clothes would look great on my bedroom floor.
- Are you from Tennessee, cause you’re the only ten I see
We want to hear the best Tinder chat up lines you have received! Tweet us at @Wallflower_Mag
